Why Am I So Nervous?

Why am I so nervous?  Good question!  For one very good reason, the Haven Conference.  When I started blogging last year I read about this conference's inaugural year all over the blogs I follow.  I was so jealous that I hadn't planned ahead and bought a ticket.  This year the same thing almost happened.  I almost missed out again!  That was until Kelly from Eclectically Vintage asked me if I was going to Haven.  I got a bit panicky when she asked me and thought, "OH NO!  I missed it again!"  It turns out I had missed the ticket sales by a few months.  I missed out on getting a ticket, but with a little help I found someone who was selling one that I was able to purchase.  I was ecstatic when I realized I was going to be able to attend Haven!!!  It was this bloggers dream come true!  

OK, I still haven't really explained what this whole Haven Conference is about have I?  To be honest I'm still learning what it's all about.  Let's just say it's a chance to learn, network and talk about blogging with some of the biggest DIY and home decor bloggers as well as vendors out there.  It's that great opportunity to meet bloggers I look up to and admire as well as some I don't know of yet.  It's a chance to meet and connect with representatives from big companies like Home Depot, Moen, Ryobi and so many more. There will be workshops that will teach me more about taking better pictures, growing my blog and making better connections with my fellow bloggers (to name a few.....there are so many workshops!).  

Well, if I'm so excited and this is such an amazing opportunity then why am I so nervous?  I feel like I'm going back to college and taking a final exam, but I'm completely unprepared and have no idea what subject I'm being tested on.  After 18 months of blogging, I still consider myself a new and inexperienced blogger .  One of the reasons I feel this way is I have so much to learn still!  I didn't know what an SEO was until recently (I had to Google it!).  For those of you who also don't know what that is it's Search Engine Optimization.  It has something to do with how people find your site on search engines, but that's about as far as my knowledge goes.  I still don't know what a media kit is, how to properly use hashtags or use Twitter.  I'm on a huge learning curve here and I'm not technical at all.  I can hardly operate my laptop!  The idea of attending a conference with about 300 other bloggers who know what they're doing makes me VERY nervous!  

I've written about Miss Mustardseed (her real name is Marian) on the blog before.  Well, she's my blog idol!  I almost passed out with excitement when she picked my furniture projects not once, but twice as one of her favorites during her Furniture Feature Friday.   She's a big deal in the DIY blogging world.  She has written a book and has her own milk paint line. Yep, even writing all this makes me sound like a huge decor nerd and stalker (I'm really not a stalker!).  Well Marian is going to be at Haven teaching a workshop on painting.  Of course I can't wait to take her course.  I paint, so I should be completely fine and not nervous about taking the workshop and possibly meeting her, right?  WRONG!  What if I say something stupid and make a fool of myself?  She's a mega-blogger, an author and entrepreneur!  I'm just a little blog that doesn't advertise and doesn't post consistently!

Then there's the 'what to wear' issue.  I shouldn't even get started with this subject.  My every day typical outfit really and truly is yoga pants, a workout shirt and running shoes.  You can ask anyone that knows me in my every day life, they will attest to this.  My hair is usually in a bun or up in some other way.   I'm lucky if I remember to put on my New Balance watch and wedding ring.  My nails are always done, but they usually have paint, stain or wax on them.  I hardly even remember how to put together an outfit that doesn't consist of something from my Mommy uniform (this is what the hubby calls it).  I'm always worried about what to wear to a function, but this time it's off the hook!  First impressions always scare me!

You're probably asking yourself, if you weren't already, why I'm writing about all of this.  It might sound like the panicked rantings of an insecure lunatic.   However, if you follow me on a regular basis you probably already know I do all this blogging stuff for fun.  It's cathartic for me.  It's my form of therapy if you will.  Sharing my creativity in a public forum is good for me because it pushes me to 'do something that scares me every day.'  I need to be creative, it's like breathing for me.  I'm hoping if I write all of this out for the world to see then I will feel better and it will help me feel more confident. I've been worrying and fretting over this conference for a couple of months now and what has it accomplished?  Nothing at all!  Well, it's given me a few sleepless nights and some headaches if that counts.  What I have learned from all of this worrying is that I need to be confident in who I am.  No one else can do this for me.  It has to come from within. 

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This is one of my favorite quotes and I think it's a good reminder for everyone, but especially for me. I'm always telling my son, Hunter to be himself and allow himself to be unique so why am I not taking my own advice?  Why not just go with it?

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I've decided that Instead of being nervous and worrying about how I will compare to everyone else I'm going to be myself.  Take it or leave it.  Either my fellow bloggers will like me or they won't.  I doubt anyone will remember what I wore or whether I knew what an SEO was.  It's not the end of the world if I don't 'click' with everyone I meet, right?  I might put my foot in my mouth, or commit some faux pas, but at least I will know I was being true to myself.  

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I have to remind myself why I wanted to attend this conference in the first place.  I wanted to push myself and go outside my comfort zone.  I wanted to meet new, like-minded people and fellow bloggers.   I wanted to go for all of these reasons, but most of all I wanted to learn from experienced bloggers so I can grow.   I'm hoping this will push me to grow my blog a bit more so I can reach more people who enjoy the same things I do.  I write this blog for fun, not for a salary.  This whole conference is supposed to be fun, not a source of worry or nervousness.  

This idea of 'being yourself' doesn't just apply to me and this conference.  It applies to everyone.  The world would be a really boring place if we were all the same.  I'm commiting be myself and let my uniqueness shine through.  I hope you'll do the same!

Thank you for reading this and if you stuck with it and made it to the end, here's a big virtual HUG for you!!  I hope on Aug 1, 2 & 3 when I'm attending Haven, you will all send out some positive thoughts  my way and maybe an extra helping of courage!

Melody